The Attitude That Consistently Got Me in Trouble

I fought against authority practically since the day I was born. I did everything I was told not to do. Thankfully, I never got involved in drugs or broke the law, but there was plenty of room for plenty of mischief that didn’t sit well with those in authority.

Being a young teen out of control was the beginning of building a bohemian attitude. I’ve been on my own since I was 16. Took in a homeless child when I was 17. Tried to help a drug addict recover from drugs along the way. None of it turned out well.

In those days I dressed like a tomboy. Lots of boxy, baggy unisex clothing that made me look and feel tough. I lived in flannel, jeans and t-shirts. I slept in my clothes and wore them the next day. With my long hair and boyish clothing, I stood out and this made me feel important. And yet, I remained unimportant to everyone because I was unimportant to myself.

My independent, often combative, attitude constantly got me in trouble. But somehow, I managed to work and support myself, except for a brief period when I was raising my adopted daughter and couldn’t pay my bills. It took decades to finally become debt-free.

I’m very grateful for my attitude. This fighting spirit became my constant companion and protected me from my worst instincts. I lived on the edge but never hit rock bottom.

So, with a dash of humor I recognize and accept that I have a serious attitude problem, and somehow I’m managing to own it with pride.